


In the dark (I’m just no good at giving relief)

by StarSplit



Series: Homecoming [4]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 16:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5383226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarSplit/pseuds/StarSplit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shaw is back. Moments with each of the members of Team Machine. December 8th post for the POI advent calendar. Part of my own "Homecoming" series but you don't have to read the others - it's just a series of different ideas for Shaw's return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the dark (I’m just no good at giving relief)

Your return happens to be right in the middle of some mission involved with getting The Machine fully online (whatever that means) and so the greetings get a little cut short. Not that you're complaining all that much. Dealing with emotions was never your thing and Root keeps staring at you as though her eyes are about to spill over with tears any second. Logically, you get it. And you missed her too. Hell you missed everyone. But you're a little relieved when John drags her out, reminding her that the Machine needs them now, and that Shaw isn’t going anywhere. He also orders Bear to guard Harold, so it's clear he doesn’t quite trust you, but knows that Bear would never let you hurt Harold, and that, even if you were working for Samaritan, you would never hurt Bear. For now it's enough to sit in the corner and stroke Bear’s head while watching Harold tapping away at the computer. 

From the sound of Harold’s side of things, whatever Root and John are up to isn’t that exciting. Twenty minutes later, Harold seems to have finished with his role, and, with a reminder to contact him if they needed anything else, he signs off and limps over to where you're sitting on the floor with Bear’s head in your lap. He sits down on the bench nearby and simply looks at you 

“So from what I managed to read between the lines from Greer, I thought The Machine was destroyed?” he looks at you, as if trying to gauge whether you were fishing for information because you were working for Samaritan, or simply because you were curious and information was an easy enough topic to deal with. After a pause you add, “Look Harold, if I was actually working for Samaritan I would probably create a much more elaborate escape in some apparently violently destructive fashion, and probably bring you fabricated proof of some Samaritan high-up’s death. I’m not an idiot, I know you don’t trust me, and if you don’t want to tell me, then fine. We can go back to sitting in silence until John gets back and you guys come up with some plan to keep me locked up until you believe me. Although Root’s a bit sensitive about you locking people up for some reason so, good luck convincing her of that plan.” He looks at you again, and then looks at Bear lying in your lap, completely relaxed. It’s that, more than anything, that seems to decide him.

“The Machine was coerced into giving up its location to Samaritan through a rather complicated series of events. We managed to preserve the core code, and Miss Groves and I have been attempting to reacreate it. There have been some issues, however today should be a significant step towards our final goal. More than that, I’m not willing to share at the present moment. I hope you understand.” You nod, as he cocks his head - someone clearly speaking into his earpiece. “I understand Mr. Reese. I’ll join you shortly,” he turns to you apologetically. “I’m afraid I have to leave for the moment, but I do hope to see you here when I return. It is wonderful to see you alive, Sameen. Bear _wacht_.” You watch as he moves over to his workstation, shuts down all of the external computers, and packs his laptop into his bag, before walking out of the subway station. 

************************

You’ve been alone for a couple of hours, when you finally hear footsteps on the stairs. By the weight and evenness of the footsteps, you know it has to be John, so you aren’t surprised when you look up from where you’re lying on the cot in the back of the station, and see him hovering in the doorway. 

“Stop hovering John. You’re tall enough as it is. That’d better be food in that bag.” You gesture at the bag he’s carrying, and your mouth waters as he throws it over to you and comes to perch on one of the benches nearby. You feel him watching you as you start devouring what’s in the bag (Thai from your favourite restaurant which, to be honest, you didn’t know John was aware of). 

“Root said you’d appreciate that.” You pause, the silence suddenly feeling loud. Eventually realizing that he’s not planning on saying anything else, you look at him.

“You’re here, I assume that means the mission is over. Surprised she didn’t come herself.” To be honest, you’re more than surprised, and a little confused as well. 

“I think she wanted a little while to calm down. She was a bit of a wreck earlier. I mean, more of a wreck than usual. She didn’t do too well when you were, well, when Samaritan took you. None of us reacted too well to be honest, but she went fully off the grid for a while. Threatened to jump off a building to get The Machine to help her find you. She killed Martine, you know? Snapped her neck”

“Wondered why that bitch disappeared,” you smirk proudly, trying to ignore the discomfort you feel at the thought of Root playing chicken with The Machine. At least the sparring lessons hadn’t completely gone to waste. 

“We ended up working together a fair bit after the stock exchange. We’ll always have our differences but. You could do worse.” You look at him incredulously. Whatever you were expecting, it was not Reese giving you his completely unasked for and uneeded relationship advice, or whatever it was. “Look I don’t pretend to know what’s going on with you guys but she’s a much better person with you around, and you, well it seems like there’s something.” Footsteps echo through the subway. Lighter, and the sound of heels. Root. John gets up, and claps you on the shoulder. “It’s good to have you back, Shaw. I’ll be back later.” You consider glaring at him as he walks out, but before you can decide, Root walks in.

She’s looking at the scattered remains of your meal, and she’s smiling, but you can see the remains of tear stains on her cheeks, and freshly applied makeup that fails to hide the dark bags under her eyes. Reese was right - she’s a wreck. And, just as you had made that decision in the elevator, just as you had made that decision when saying goodbye to Gen that first time all those years ago, you walk over and wrap your arms around her waist, pulling her into your body. It feels awkward to you but it’s something she clearly needs, and if you had figured out nothing else in the months you were held in that Samaritan prison, you knew that she mattered. That her happiness mattered. 

She freezes for a second before collapsing into you, her arms going around her neck, her weight almost totally falling onto you (and despite all the strength you’ve lost in your time with Samaritan, you can feel how light she is). You can feel water trickling down the back of your neck, although she is mostly managing to keep silent. Her body still shakes though, and you carefully let your hand run up and down her back. 

It takes a while for her body to stop shaking, and for her to cling to you a little less tightly. Slightly worried that whatever has kept her clearly exhausted body going is going to run out, you pull her over to the cot, sitting with your back against the wall. She curls her body into you, and while this would normally fall under the heading of cuddling, you can’t help but notice the release of tension in her body as you wrap your arm around her shoulders. Bear jumps up on the bed and lies down on her other side, and although you’re a little upset he’s abandoned you, you figure Root probably needs it more. 

“You look like shit, Root,” you finally say, tired of the silence. You feel her hiccup what might be a laugh, and you’re glad that you at least managed to make her smile. 

“Sorry.” You’re pretty sure she’s actually apologizing for crying all over you, but you’re not quite sure how to start that conversation. 

“I feel like maybe I should be saying that. I mean, Reese said you tried to jump off a fucking building. I didn’t - I didn’t want you to do that.”

“I didn’t want you to try to get yourself killed either,” she says quietly. You run your free hand through your slightly greasy hair in frustration - she has a point to some extent.

“Look. I didn’t want to die or anything I just - I don’t know what I could’ve done differently. It’s who I am. You know that. I do the protecting.” You remember the last time you said those words to her, back when everything seemed so simple by comparison. “I’m not going to change that just because we’re...” you trail off, not sure how to finish. You feel her arms tighten around you slowly, letting you know that she understands what you’re trying to say, and that you don’t need to finish. And that’s always been why this thing you have developed works. Root was always there, always getting under your skin, making herself a part of your life, until one day you realized that when she wasn’t there it felt like something was missing. But she never pushed for you to admit anything, never tried to change you or make you into someone else, into some idealized version of yourself. “Look I can’t make promises about the future, but I’m here now okay? I’m not - I don’t have any plans to go run off and get myself killed. I don’t know what’ll happen tomorrow or the next day but I’m here for now. Is that good enough for you?”

“Yeah Sameen, that’s good enough for me.” 

Nothing else is said, and after a while, you feel Root’s breaths even out as she drifts off. It’s a mark of her exhaustion, that she doesn’t notice when you shift her head from your shoulder to the pillow, and cover her with a blanket before sitting down next to the bed to watch over her.  
It must be a couple of hours later when you hear footsteps again. You don’t look away from Root immediately, but feel a body sit next to you on the bench. When you finally do look over, you see a large bottle of your favourite bourbon being extended towards you. 

“Thought you might want a drink.”

“I guess the boys let you in on the secret hideout.” You take the offered bottle, unscrew the cap and take a swig from it.

“Guess they needed the help.” Fusco nodded towards Root’s still form. “Good to see her sleeping. Good to see you still breathing.”

“Good to be breathing.” You glance over at him, appreciating his relative silence, his lack of accusation, his understanding of the choice you had made. He was glad to have you back, no doubt about that, but he also wouldn't have blamed you had you died in the stock exchange. For all that John was a soldier, he had never been good at accepting that other people could make sacrifices for him. You weren’t much better to be honest. But Fusco respected what you had tried to do. “Go home to your kid Lionel. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

The bench creaked slightly as he stood up and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Stay safe Sameen. We need you in this fight.” 

The night wears on as you take the occasional sip from the bottle, and watch over Root, still curled motionless around Bear. The night has worn into morning when she starts shifting, her forehead creasing in distress as she mutters in her sleep. You think you hear her name, and when her movements start to become more agitated you cap the bottle and slide behind her in the cot. You wrap your arms around her body and pull her back into your own, breathing deeply and evenly. The tension slowly eases in her body and her breaths start to match yours. As you feel her drop back into a dreamless sleep, you feel your eyes drift shut, and allow yourself to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> So this actually came from a conversation with a friend of mine where I was basically thinking 'what if each act of the episode Shaw returns is an examination of her relationship with each member of Team Machine?' And then me trying to decide the order because originally I had Root last, but then on my rewatch I got a LOT of Fusco/Shaw brotp feelings about how he really understands her the best in some ways, and is the only person who really accepted her sacrifice and didn't blame himself for it. He got that it was her choice and her fault alone. So I figured Fusco had to drop by after Root. I get that Root being convinced to leave at the beginning was a bit of a long shot, but if she could be convinced to leave Shaw for a few hours for any reason, it would have to be for The Machine. Let me know what you think of it!


End file.
